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Negotiation as a Martial Art: Techniques to Master the Art of Human Exchange-Cash Nickerson

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"This book is a must-read for business leaders, lawyers, and policymakers who hope to be skilled in creative negotiation and dispute resolution to accomplish their and their clients' needs.”President, St. Louis Mediation ProjectDistinguished Fellow, International Academy of Mediators, Best Lawyers in America in Mediation, 2010-presentWe all negotiate. Put more accurately, we are always negotiating. There is always something we want that we do not have. There is always something we have that others want. Those human transactions are very human. The process of bartering, whether it be in billion-dollar transactions or over the use of the family car, is a deeply human activity. But like many soft skills, we don't teach it. We consider it something that we have to just learn by doing it. And it is true that trial and error is the basic teacher of negotiation.But it doesn't have to be that way. Negotiation is a social activity that involves disciplines like language, observation, reaction, listening, speaking, storytelling, humor, and sensing. The number one thing you bring to every negotiation is you. This book helps you understand how these various behaviors and disciplines come to play and therefore how you can become a better negotiator. The book helps you develop the mindset and tools to become a great negotiator for yourself and for others.Classical teaching on negotiation teaches separating the people from the problem. But the people are often the problem and the key to accomplishing your goals and theirs. We express our desires as "I want this or that." As a result, we are always talking about the "what." As people, as humans, we often don't even really know what we want. This book teaches you to get behind your "what" and theirs. To accomplish this, you need to understand the "why" not just the "what." It is the "why" that will help you understand the "what" and adjust it accordingly.If you think you will get what you want by just being tough and demanding, this book isn't for you. If you want to succeed in dealing with those people or want to develop a negotiation style where you get what you want and people want to deal with you again and again, then this book is for you. The author draws upon principles of martial arts (designed around dealing with more powerful opponents) to help develop your understanding of negotiations.In a battle of water and stone, water wins.

Book Negotiation as a Martial Art: Techniques to Master the Art of Human Exchange Review :



What a wonderfully comprehensive, intelligently written book on artfully negotiating deals. The author delves into negotiations far more than in any other book I've read, providing entertaining, engaging analogies that help to increase comprehension. One of my favorites was when he spoke on Plato's cave analogy, how there is always a backstory which is hidden in the shadows and only through asking "why" can we see those objects that often go unseen. Nice. There were also points that seem common sense, but I wonder how many people actually need to revisit these points. For example: Communication is a foundation of any negotiation process. Common sense, right? But I like how the author goes beyond the verbal to explain how the slightest "hard stare" or wrong word can create tension that could create a confrontational atmosphere, which, of course, would contravene successful negotiation. Overall, this is a well-written work.
Cash Nickerson uses a format I find enjoyable, of short to-the-point chapters, with excellent use of analogy, metaphor and storytelling; and he is constantly defining what he means, which adds clarity. The recounting of his real-life experiences makes the reading fun. The banner quotes at the beginning of each chapter frame the context to come; the takeaways at the end provide a concise synopsis. Incorporating the wisdom, tips, and how-tos in this book will likely add to the reader’s repertoire of skills and tools, and most negotiators enjoy expanding their toolbox.While his style makes this book an easy read, it is so full of insights, useful information, and tips, that it is a slow read for those who, like me, want to learn and savor the learning. My two favorite topics: (1) “We don’t really know what we want, but we think we know.” And then, just as important, we “don’t know why.” When mentoring people, including those high up the ladder, this is often the first thing they need to work on. Once they figure out what they need, what they want (often different), and why, the rest becomes the easy stuff. In negotiations, without knowing those three, for you and the other side, the rest is the hard part.(2) The critical nature of soft skills, like building trust: negotiators skip over or ignore these at their hazard, while those who cultivate them will likely have better outcomes.Whether you are looking to enhance your professional or personal skills, and whether you are a beginner (white belt) or an expert (black belt), I highly recommend this book.

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